Anger vs. Power & Control

01.14.2010

Before I began working for PADV, I thought that domestic and dating violence was about one partner getting angry with the other and becoming physically violent with them. I often referenced my own upbringing with violence in the home, thinking that anger was the root cause of fighting between mom and dad. Dinner wasn’t ready on time, Dad had a bad day, my sibling and I were unruly; things that would make any father angry after a long, hard day at work. But as I began this line of work, I realized the thin line between being angry and expressing that anger, and controlling someone and expressing anger when that someone tries to break free from control.

A really good example of this occurred on an episode of my favorite new show, GLEE. On GLEE, the main character is a teacher named Will, whose wife, Terri, had been faking a pregnancy. Terri’s reason for faking the pregnancy was to “hold on” to Will because she felt that he was slipping away from her and would leave her and the marriage. When Will found out about the fake pregnancy, he was angry. He yelled, grabbed her wrist, snatched the fake baby bump off of her (it was held on by Velcro) and walked out. It was an intense scene, making people wonder if it could be seen as a form of domestic violence.

To see the episode where this scene occurs, click here.

What was your take about this scene? Do you think this is domestic violence?