Death Cab for Cutie “I Will Possess Your Heart”

2.24.2009

When I first heard this song all I really noticed was the soft voice and melodic sound. But between the lines I heard possessiveness and stalker behavior. Of course, as all of you know from reading our blog, these can be early warning signs of teen dating violence. See what you think:

How I wish you could see the potential
The potential of you and me
It’s like a book elegantly bound
But in language you can’t read just yet

(Chorus)
You got to spend some time, love
You got to spend some time with me
And I know that you’ll find love
I will possess your heart

There are days when outside your window
I see my reflection as I slowly pass
And I long for this mirrored perspective
When we’ll be lovers, lovers at last

You reject my advances and desperate pleas
I won’t let you let me down so easily
So easily

The chorus really stands out to me. These words remind me of a line I was told once- “I’m gonna make you love me, yes I am, yes I am!” As someone who has always tried to “fix” things, I think it is easy to fall in the trap of thinking that we can make someone love us. But even if we talk someone into spending time with us it is never guaranteed that they will feel the same way. And sorry you guys, but we learn time and time again that no matter what we change or how wonderful we try to be, that ultimately it is up to your partner whether or not they to love you back.

The part about being outside the window and seeing your reflection takes the song to a creepy level in my opinion. It sounds like stalker behavior. And in the end, he acknowledges that she has rejected his advances and desperate please but continues to pursue her, it doesn’t sound like he understands or respects boundaries. By saying “I won’t let you let me down so easily” It once again shows that he really thinks he has control over her feelings towards him.

I encourage you to think about times in your life when you may have tried to force a relationship. I know in my experience, I was always met with disappointment. Now hopefully none of us have been as delusional as the guy in this song, but it is good to look at how possessiveness can really go too far.

What do you guys think about the song?