How dating violence affected me

1.14.2009

I’d like to pose a question to everyone reading this blog: how has teen dating violence (TDV) affected you?

My name is Jil and I work for PADV as the teen prevention advocate. I talk with teens in their schools or community groups about building healthy relationships. I also warn teens about dating abuse and what to do in the event that teen dating violence is affecting them or their friends. Before I started working in this field, I didn’t know a lot about teen dating violence. I thought that it was something that only a few teens had to deal with. Looking back, teen dating violence was present in my life when I was younger. But I thought that the warning signs I saw were just a normal part of relationships during high school. At the time, I wasn’t looking for warning signs because I wasn’t really paying attention to the people around me and their relationships; especially if I didn’t know them really well.

Now than I know about teen dating violence and recognize how it was present in my life when I was a teen, I wish that I would have done something for those couples that were having shouting arguments in the hallway at school or the girl from gym class who showed some bruises that she got from her boyfriend. I could have even helped a friend of mine whose boyfriend slapped her and pushed her into lockers.

Dating violence doesn’t discriminate based on age, race, gender or sexual orientation. I wish that I had realized that more when I was a teen. Even though I was not in violent relationships as a teen, I should have been an advocate for those who were and told them that everyone deserves better than a relationship that is built on violence and abuse.

So, I’m wondering has teen dating violence has affected you? Has someone you know been abused by their dating partner? What can you do, or what have you done, to help?

If you’re ever looking for information about teen dating violence or other forms of abuse, check out our website.