05.05.2010

On March 13, 2010, PADV Teen Scene sponsored our 1st annual Spotlight on Teen Dating Violence summit. We gathered some questions that we were unable to answer during the summit, so we are going to answer them here on our blog. Check back as we answer more questions.

Q: How can you tell if a guy is being abused?

A: Abuse for young men is the same as abuse for young women. The statistic states that 1 in 4 teens have experienced physical, verbal, emotional, or sexual abuse from a dating partner. Usually, abusive young women are more verbally and emotionally abusive, but female abusers can also use physical and sexual violence. Abuse also occurs in same-sex relationships at the same rate, 1 in 4. The effects of the abuse on young men are the same as the affects of abuse on young women. Some red flags may include changes in appearance, mood swings, worrying about your dating partner’s thoughts and feelings, your dating partner always wanting to know where you are, becoming more isolated, not hanging out with friends, etc. If you think that you may be abused, seek help.

Q: How does he tell me that he’s being abused without feeling weak?

A: If males are being abused, they may not report for fear of the stigma of appearing “weak” to their friends, family or peers. Young men who are being abused can talk to a trusted adult, a male, that can make them feel safe disclosing without judgment. If young men do not feel comfortable talking to a man that they know, they can always call an anonymous hotline. Sometimes, teens run the hotline and they do not know the caller on the other end of the phone or the situation, so they are not judgmental. They are trained to listen, not to make you feel bad, and can give you resources. The National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline number is 1-866-331-9474. Males need to get help, too. Don’t be so afraid of what people will think. Seek help because no one deserves to be abused.

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