Engaged & Underage from MTV

12.30.2008

Engaged & Underage is a show on MTV that follows young couples (all 21 and under) preparing for their big walk down the aisle. Some couples have wonderful and strong relationships and see marriage as the next practical step of their relationship. But sometimes, the couples don't have a strong relationship that's rooted in trust, mutual support and honesty.

One example of a couple that does not have a healthy relationship is Jewel and Cory, a couple from Texas. You can watch scenes from their episode below.

Engaged & Underage - MTV Shows

During the introductory part of their episode, Jewel talks about how her fiancé Cory used to be a professional BMX biker, but that she made him quit once they were engaged. Do you think Cory should have to choose between doing what he loves, BMX, and the person that he thinks is "The One?"

In the first part of the episode, we watch Jewel and Cory at a family barbeque. Many of the people in their families say that Cory is “whipped”; he’ll do whatever Jewel says with no questions asked. Cory felt that Jewel was instigating these perceptions by saying that Cory did whatever she asked. How do you think that Jewel could have been more supportive of Cory? What should she have done differently?

All throughout the episode, Jewel is constantly nagging Cory about completing one of two things; their house (which they plan to move into after the wedding) and a bridge that she wants installed for her wedding day. These tasks are often unrealistic and obviously tedious because Cory has a hard time completing them. He even takes time away from his family dinner to try to explain to Jewel that he can’t possibly get everything done and prepare for their wedding. Other than feeling frustrated, how do you think Cory feels?

Even though we’ve already said that we think their relationship is rocky, what do you think?

Heidi and Spencer from The Hills

11.26.2008


Heidi and Spencer's relationship really bothers me because it seems as though no one realizes how abusive Spencer is. Not that he's physically abusive towards Heidi, but dating violence is about more than that. In watching Heidi and Spencer's relationhip on “The Hills,” there are several warning signs that show that Spencer is abusive:


He isolates her from her friends and family- a hint to an abusive guy is he tries to isolate you from your closest friends and family so that you have no one else to turn to once the abuse starts. Spencer has completely alienated her from her family, making Heidi distrust her family's concern about her relationship, calling her family members names (“stalker-mom”; Heidi's sister as the “mooch of the century”), and manipulating situations to make Heidi hurt her family members (Heidi's mom crying and Heidi kicking her sister out of the apartment she shares with Spencer).


He is jealous of Heidi's relationships with others- another warning sign of an abusive partner is that they are jealous of other friendships. Spencer wants Heidi to only spend time with those people that he feels are “loyal”, and if Heidi doesn't agree, he threatens to break up with her, cheat, or move out of their apartment. The relationship that Heidi wants to work on the most is with Lauren, her former roommate who doesn't like Spencer. Spencer tries to say that Lauren wants Heidi all to herself, but it seems that he is the one that wants that, not Lauren.


Spencer is controlling- Spencer has never really shown Heidi much respect; Her opinions are not supported, her job is not seen as important, and she is not allowed to choose who her friends are. Heidi seems to always be walking on egg shells around Spencer because she never knows what type of mood Spencer is going to be in. He is always giving annoyed looks, and being passive-aggressive in his words and actions. What Spencer wants, Spencer gets -and it doesn't matter what he has to do or who he has to hurt to get it, including Heidi.


Many people have said that Heidi is changing and having to compromise a lot for her relationship. Spencer has already shown signs of dating violence; he is controlling, manipulative, and extremely selfish. However, since the last aired episode of “The Hills,” Spencer and Heidi are now married. It is my hope that their relationship improves and that Spencer can change his abusive ways because Heidi deserves much more, everyone in abusive relationships does.